Special occasions, such as weddings, parties and family gatherings, can present a challenge to someone with a vestibular disorder; particularly if you are one of the central figures. A little planning can help take the stress from these occasions.
This resource was created by someone with a lived-experience of a vestibular condition from their personal experience.
Below are a few helpful tips and suggestions, but please remember that vestibular conditions affect people in different ways: dizziness tinnitus, balance problems, deafness, headache, sensitivity to noise or a mixture of these. Some tips may not apply to you depending on how your condition affects you.
Get to know the venue
If possible, visit the venue (e.g. church or hotel) well before the event. In a church the lighting and organ music can be a challenge to some so, if possible, attend a few services beforehand. Sit at the back to start with and gradually move forward as you become more accustomed. This way, on the day of the event you can feel more confident that you are familiar with the venue.
The same applies to hotel venues. Large rooms or long corridors with busy carpet patterns and strange lighting can be a challenge, so an advance visit can be helpful. Strange lighting can also be a challenge, so visit a few times beforehand. Explain your problem to the manager, ask to see the actual room and spend some time in there and in the other areas around. This will, of course, have to be when there is no function on in the room but it will give an indication of whether there are aspects of the room that may cause problems. Try to visit also when there is a similar function on so that you can assess the noise level of any music or disco, the darkness and flashing lights. This will be from outside the room but it will give you some idea of what it will be like for your occasion. If you are making a speech, it is particularly helpful to see the room and also to find out if a microphone will be used and, if possible, have an opportunity to rehearse in this situation as the acoustics will be different.
Take a look around to find quiet rooms or places outside where you can go to be quieter. If you know the quiet areas you can take regular short breaks during the evening, possibly taking one of your guests to have a chat with. Consider using earplugs as a last resort if noise is a problem. It is a good idea if there is a restaurant or bar to go for a meal or just a drink in the bar in the weeks before so that it is more familiar. In a restaurant if you are bothered by the noise then choose a seat near a wall or at the edge of the room so that the noise is not all around you and sit with your back to the wall facing the main noise area. Look also for an area where the lighting is better, such as near a window or lighting. It can be useful to stay overnight at the hotel venue a little while beforehand, if possible, as this gives an opportunity to check out all of these aspects. If you are a guest at an event, e.g. a wedding, you may be able to ask if they can accommodate any of your requirements in the seating plan.
Medication
On the day itself try to keep to the same times for any medication you take and do not take any medication that you have not taken previously.
Stay hydrated
Keep some water handy so that you do not become dehydrated, particularly on summer days. For a summer wedding, if you are in the main bridal party, arrange for water to be in the wedding cars, in the church vestry, and available on arriving at the hotel to save having to carry a water bottle.
Food and alcohol
Think about when meals will be available and, if there is likely to be a delay, perhaps put a cereal bar or even a few sweets in one of these locations or in your pocket to give you an energy boost. A lot of people with vertigo do not drink alcohol. If you are not sure how alcohol affects you and you want to drink a toast then try this out a little while beforehand. Make sure you specify any dietary requirements ahead of the day.
Noise and balance
People with balance problems often find one of the most difficult things is standing and talking to others in a noisy situation. Try to have someone nearby who understands your problem, stand facing most of the noise, on the edge of the group if possible. Space your feet wider apart and change your standing position regularly. If your occasion is a wedding and you are part of the receiving line, ask for a bar stool or small table and keep it close to you to rest on or just to lean on for some support. This leaves your hands free to greet your guests. Wear shoes that are comfortable and wear them around the house for a week or two so that you are used to them.
Tiredness
Tiredness can be a problem. Avoid a long journey on the day. If possible stay at the venue or somewhere nearby on the evening before so that you are not tired from travelling before the occasion starts. Plan your week so that the day before and the day after the event are restful.
Warm weather
When buying clothes for the occasion try to consider layers so that you do not become too hot. In the summer be sure to include sunglasses and a hat for shade.
Preparation is key
Learn when to say “no” and try to keep your part of the day simple by doing as much as possible in the days before. Talk to others that are closely involved so that they are aware of any problems you may have and keep within your comfort zone. Explain that you may need to take a break from time to time somewhere quieter so that they will be aware of this.
If the occasion is likely to be emotional or stressful practice some of the breathing and relaxation techniques in the Ménière’s & Vestibular UK booklet Controlling Your Symptoms.
Enjoy the day!
On the day tell yourself that you have put everything you can in place to ensure that you have a lovely day and relax and enjoy your special occasion!
Also see our information for family, friends and colleagues.
These are personal suggestions from people with a vestibular condition and are not intended to replace medical advice. What works for one person may not work for you.You should always consult your GP, consultant or therapist for professional guidance before you begin, change, temporarily suspend or discontinue any treatment, medication, exercise or diet. Ménière’s & Vestibular UK cannot advise on individual cases nor accept any liability resulting from the use of any treatments or information referred to in this resource.